LISA'S AURA

When I was in college at Louisiana Tech in 1989 everything started off great.  My roommate was someone I knew since elementary school and I was majoring in Art.  I met an awesome girl the first day of design class at the bookstore.  We were buying art supplies and didn't know what one thing was.  She asked me and we wandered around till we found it.  We have been really good friends since!!  However, she told me when she first saw me in class she thought I was a stuck up bitch.   Thanks Donna for seeing the real me!!!  Love ya girl!!  We had alot of fun in that 4 hour class.  We had class at the cemetery, made some really cool designs and had a dyke teacher who loved to curse.  Anyway, my roommate was a biology major but her boyfriend was an art major.  He had a really kick ass studio at the school.  He was a cool guy. Sometime during the first semester I became very depressed and started acting out on it.  I quit going to classes and basically hibernated in my room.  Second semester, I dropped out.  Then changed majors at my dads request from art to business management.  I showed up at that first class with my ripped jeans and noticed everyone else was dressed up in suits and dresses.  I immediately withdrew.  My depression got worse and my roommates boyfriend gave me  a picture he had drawn.  It was of me.  It was a head coming out of the ground surrounded by fire and was titled Lisa's Aura.  I still have that picture.

Will the real me stand up and holler??!!

All my life it seems I have tried not being the real me.  Or maybe every time I showed who I really was, nobody seemed to like it.  Regardless, I haven't been "ME" in my entire 39 years- 473 months- 2, 058 weeks- 14, 406 days- 345, 766 hours- 20, 745, 996 minutes- 1, 244,759,786  seconds life.  Seeing that 40 is right around the corner, 204 days, I pledge to be the real me.  I plan to enjoy this birthday like no other.  The last time I really enjoyed a birthday was when i turned 12.  Supposedly, your 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st birthdays are special but not for me.  Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, I don't really like birthdays or holidays much.  BUT, my life has changed alot recently and I want to celebrate it with a fabulous 40th birthday.  AND, the only way to do that is to unchain the real me.

"ME"
I can be VERY stubborn when I don't want to do something but am also the most determined person you will probably ever meet when I do want to do something.  I am not a talker but a doer.  I can't stand liars, therefore I do not lie.  There are no "curse" words.  I mean really people they are all just words.  If you're offended by them, don't bother being my friend.  I LOVE music(all genres) , art, ballet, animals, unique fashion, baseball, football, hanging with cool friends, science, history, coffee, alcohol, mexican food, italian food, not much of a sweets person, love love love the beach, thunderstorms and I love to laugh!   I don't have a large amount of friends but the ones I do have are friends for life.  I own my own business, ok so I don't actually make much money, the phrase starving artist is an accurate depiction.  But, I am doing what I LOVE to do and that's all I care about.  The word "NO" is not in my vocabulary.  I am not a what if person or a could've, would've, should've type.  I like change, actually I have to have it!  I get bored very easily.  I love luxurious things and flowers, particularly white ones.   sure there are many things I left off, my memory is terrible!!  I can't tell you what I ate for lunch yesterday or if I had been driving that damn vehicle when I got the DWI.  Not sure when it went to shit. Could have been after I had my 3rd child or maybe it's always been this way.

From here on out, I am going to just be "me"! If you don't like "me" then fuck off!!

Reason for smacking someone on the ass?

If I could communicate out loud the way I talk to myself inside, I would either be rich, dead, or in a mental institute. ( I'm guessing either of the last two would most likely be the outcome, but you never know.)  Now see, that in parenthesis was me talking to myself.  Anyway, I was going over this phrase people like to use (alot) in my head the other day.  "Everything happens for a reason".  UGH!!!! I used to hate that saying!  Now, I'm sure alot of people will want to punch me out for putting this thought into your heads "Everything really does happen for a reason, no matter how awesome or shitty it is."  And the fact is we may never know the reason other than it is to teach us something.  Example:  I remember being 5 or 6 years old and going to McDonalds with my mom and brother Chris.  I specifically remember whispering in her ear," DO NOT GIVE THE SCRATCH OFF TICKETS TO CHRIS" and she promised she would not.  Me and Chris sat down at a table and waited for her to bring the food and MY tickets.  All of a sudden my brother jumps up from the table running up to mom, who was still at the counter.  What do you know, that son of a bitch came running back like he was in the 100 yard race waving those tickets in my face.  He was SO proud of himself, bless his little heart. NOT!!.  Being the Taurus that I am, I stood up with smoke billowing out of my nose and ears and charged toward mom.  Her back was to me and I proceeded to rear back my hand and smack her on the ass as hard as I could.  She turned around and gave me the "when we get home" look.  Don't even remember what happened when we got home but I do know I will NEVER forget that experience.  I can still picture it so clearly in my mind.  Now I have to ask "what was the reason for that?"